Little help for the ladies.

So, in search of Mr. Right, I have some to some conclusions that I feel are pretty accurate. There is no "Mr. Right". There are "Mr. Rights for Her" and "Mr. Right Now" but the mysterious "Mr. Right" to whom I am eluding to is as evasive as a snipe in those snipe hunts we were made to participate in back in girl's camp. I've not given up hope at all; don't get me wrong. I have just revised my strategy. Here are my new guidelines, you may adopt any you please.

1. Do not look for a man on a white stallion wielding a sword and shield- Stallions poop all over the place, the shield gets in the way and men with any type of blade are like little boys with fire. They'll play with it until they're hurt or have wreaked havoc around camp. Maybe they'll poke their eyes out.

2. Do not go into the law library of your local campus to find an intellect- the only men there are ones doing the same, looking for a girl who'll support them so they can play video games all day and eat corn dogs.

3. Never walk down the frozen foods aisle when men are there- In talking with several men, I've discovered that many hang out there, pathetically looking at frozen pizzas in hopes that one of us sweet women will offer to cook them something home-made. Yeah. . . I'm not kidding.

4. Do not go into Banana Republic in hopes of finding good dresser- Men there are either more interested in your brother or are too high maintenance. You may run into the same problems at the Gap but have a higher chance at finding a normal man at Old Navy. I've had several female friends teach their man to dress with amazing results . . . Men don't always know these things.

5. Look for someone who makes you laugh- a funny guy becomes better looking with time. Good lookers who can do nothing but look good should be placed on a mantel and dusted occasionally.

6. You're quirky, look for someone who'll accept that- we're nowhere near perfection, why should we be looking for that? I'm just excited when he remembers to wash his hands and zip up his fly.

7. Don't mope- who wants to marry someone who sits at home and does nothing but feel sorry for themselves? Go out! Target is always having great sales!

8. Go camping. Guys like girls that camp. They also like girls that don't wig out when they spill something. But don't spill on purpose. That's weird.